Pappa wants mamma naked
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
