Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Enjoy the penises
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
