there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Randomize
