girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize