apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
