alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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