I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
your room smells of hookers.
And success
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
