she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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