I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
