There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I look better un-naked...
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Randomize
