This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
