Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
