Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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