The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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