He is such a slut. More and more my type.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
