My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
