just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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