Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
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