I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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