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• (540): View more from Virginia

  she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out

  (803): View more from South Carolina

  youve hit the jackpot

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• (818): View more from California

  I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape

  (310): View more from California

  wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?

  (818): View more from California

  why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Disregard the shoes in the freezer.

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• (619): View more from California

  Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am

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• (773): View more from Illinois

  Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance

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• (353): View more from

  I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!

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• (308): View more from Nebraska

  I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children

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• (513): View more from Ohio

  In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed

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