He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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