matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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