like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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