I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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