I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
