I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
my shit smells like andre
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
