lets start a swedish sibling band together
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
