So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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