I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
