Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
