I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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