Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize