If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
