this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
