____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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