So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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