you turned your livingroom into a bong?
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
