I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
