You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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