we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
