just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
