The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
