i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I think my moral compass just broke
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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