I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
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