i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize