I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize