In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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