Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sext me about skeletons
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
