i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
