Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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