I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
