why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
