she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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