I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Dignity is for republicans.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
