she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Small penises have feelings too.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize