Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize