I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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